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How horny is 'The Rise of Skywalker'? Not horny enough.

This post contains deeply weird spoilers for Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker. Read at your own risk, for at least two reasons.

It's been two years since The Last Jedi shocked the world by being the first Star Wars movie to be horny on main. Shirtless Kylo Ren Force Skyped Rey in the middle of the night to seduce her (to the dark side, but still), Maz Kanata casually insinuated that she banged a "master breaker," Luke did some weird stuff with milk, and John Boyega entered the movie naked and leaking in a see-through rubber suit. Now that The Rise of Skywalker is here, those who saw The Last Jedi's sexual supertext must be wondering: is this one horny too? And if so, how horny are we talking?

Not horny enough, to be honest. The Rise of Skywalker is sure to stir up discourse on what Star Wars means to fans, how well it stuck the landing, and a host of other topics everyone will surely debate in a calm and civil fashion, but there's very little in the movie that will make anyone wonder "was that scene horny, or am I disgusting?" It's disappointing, really. The Rise of Skywalker aims for horny, falls short, and then...well. Then it ruins everything. But first, the good news.

One great thing The Rise of Skywalker does is put the bulk of the movie's horniness on the square shoulders of its strongest chemical asset: Poe Dameron. Poe knows the galaxy might end in a matter of days and pursues saving the world and getting laid with equal romantic abandon. Part of the reason nearly all of his interactions read as horny is because Poe is played by Oscar Isaac, who could steal your wallet and call it flirting with zero pushback, but the other part is that he's just...actively generating pants-stirring situations the whole time.

Poe gets in a verbal spat with Rey that could just be two strong personalities clashing, but also, what if they kissed? He falls into a sand cave inches away from Rey's face and you know what, they could have kissed then, too. The good Ship FinnPoe is unfortunately scuttled in canon, but that was never going to stop Poe throwing long, fiery looks at his BF(F) and holding every hug with Finn for as long as the audience needs to get the message.

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Posted by Trang Ánh Nam to Nam Trang Ánh at December 21, 2019 at 9:17 AM